A recent IM discussion, reprinted in it's entirety. Dude's name changed because I might be an asshole, but I'm not a fucking asshole.
Chat Transcript
Hello Michael Murphy. Please wait while we find a CLEAR specialist to help you.
You are an existing customer with a Tech Support question.
You have been connected to BOB LOBLAW.
BOB LOBLAW: Thank you for contacting Clear chat support, my name is BOB LOBLAW, I am glad to meet you online.
BOB LOBLAW: Also is this a good call back number in case we need to call you back?
Michael Murphy: Well, it's my home phone, and I'm typing this at a coffee shop because our signal is down, so no- you can't reach us there right now.
BOB LOBLAW: Okay Michael.
Michael Murphy: Ok.
BOB LOBLAW: If I understand you as correctly as I read your concern, you are having problem with the reception that you are getting?
Michael Murphy: Yes. The past few days it's been coming in and out every few hours, and all of today we haven't had access to it at all.
Michael Murphy: I'd say this started around Monday or Tuesday.
BOB LOBLAW: I'm sorry to hear that, I'll be more than glad to help you with your concern.
BOB LOBLAW: What is the status of the light on your modem at the moment?
Michael Murphy: I couldn't tell you- I'm at a coffee shop. Last time I checked, the lights were blinking.
BOB LOBLAW: Oh, you need to have the modem with you while we are troubleshooting it.
Michael Murphy: And before that, they were all lit, but we weren't able to connect.
Michael Murphy: I'm not asking to troubleshoot. This happens all the time with Clear's service. It'll work itself out whenever- I've gotten used to not being able to do anything about it. All I'm asking for is a discount on my next bill, as once again my service has been terrible for most of the week. That's all.
Michael Murphy: I've been told it's because I'm too close to one of your towers, but that doesn't make much sense. The truth is, I don't think anyone knows why this happens to our service., as it's always an issue.
BOB LOBLAW: I understand, is the service up and running now?
Michael Murphy: Again, I don't know- I'm not home.
Michael Murphy: If I had to guess, I'd say no, as it's been this way all day.
BOB LOBLAW: You need to have the device and see if the service is up and running before we settle this issue Michael.
Michael Murphy: Well, if I go home, and the service is down, I have to come back here to tell you it's down. See the problem we find ourselves in here?
BOB LOBLAW: I understand that however we still need to check it Michael.
BOB LOBLAW: We do have a hotline number which is 888-888-3113 if you have no connection at home.
Michael Murphy: So, on top of the constant inconvenience I get from your service every month with my service coming in and out, as it has been for most of this week, now I need to be further inconvenienced. I don't have a cell phone- I work from home. So, the only option you're giving me is to go all the way home, and then if it's down, come all the way back here.
Michael Murphy: When all I'm asking you for is credit on my next bill for a few days of interrupted service.
BOB LOBLAW: We can assist you with that however we need to check if the service is up so that we can settle the credit you are asking.
Michael Murphy: Why? Why can't you just credit the account, and if it's still down, I can write tomorrow or whenever you decide to work out whatever the problem is, and request you add that additional time to the credit. I really don't see the problem here.
BOB LOBLAW: I would be happy to help you further. Would you please verify the account by telling me, in what city you were born?
Michael Murphy: Munster
BOB LOBLAW: Thank you for that information.
Michael Murphy: Of course.
BOB LOBLAW: If the signal is not stable, you need to reposition the device. I'm looking at the usage on the account now, on the 2nd of October, there's a 6 GB usage.
BOB LOBLAW: Hi, Are you there?
Michael Murphy: The signal is stable. It's your service. There will be whole days/weeks where it's fine, and then it just goes out. This is one of those instances. Again, it's just how it is because the service is unreliable. I've gotten used to it.
BOB LOBLAW: I understand, however we can offer troubleshooting and we are not able to give credit since there's a usage.
Michael Murphy: Ok, how about this- I'll go home, and wait until the signal magically appears again, and then I'll IM with someone else who has no idea what I'm talking about, and I'll go through this all over again with them. Sound good?
Michael Murphy: And if this is about my current bill, I have an extension on it until next weekend.
BOB LOBLAW: I can see the extension here, kindly contact while you have the device with you Michael.
Michael Murphy: BOB LOBLAW, I don't even know what you're saying. I'll deal with this once I'm home, and the connection is back (whenever that may be). This hasn't been productive at all- have a great night. Or day. Whatever time it is there.
BOB LOBLAW: I do apologize for the inconvenience.
BOB LOBLAW: Is there anything else i can help you with?
BOB LOBLAW: Hi, Are you there?
Michael Murphy: Yes, I'm here. I have to get back to work- which I do online. So that I can get money. So that I can pay you for your terrible service.
BOB LOBLAW: Sorry to hear that Michael, as much i wanted to help you with that you need to have the device with you.
Michael Murphy: Don't apologize. First, I know you couldn't mean it less. Second, apologies do nothing. I know you understand what I'm saying, and I know you understand that I'm now going to have to do this all over again. Stop reading from your employee manual, and talk to me like a person. If you're not capable of that, say so, so that I can get on with my night.
Michael Murphy: Ok, that tells me all I need to know. Thanks again for wasting the better part of an hour of my time, BOB LOBLAW.
Michael Murphy: Later.
BOB LOBLAW: Kindly contact us once you got the device. Have a great day.
Michael Murphy: Too late.
